is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
