Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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