u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
