So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
