You work out of a Hotel?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
