ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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