JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize