I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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