You made me cry and you don't even care
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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