If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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