Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
