My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
