So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
