Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize