Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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