I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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