we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize