What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
