I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize