so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
