Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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