her vagine was all disorganized.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
