His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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