I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
