He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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