Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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