I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
