i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
