I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
