She said her name was "party"
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
porn star boner night. come get it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
