This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
