I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize