i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
