im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize