its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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