Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
