I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
MIDGETS
????
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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