I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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