I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
