Having a random hookup so left but love u
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
