I want to walk on stilts...naked
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
