He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
