I cockslap morals
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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