I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
