why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
