we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
