I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
