i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
