i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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