You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
