I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
