I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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